Some of the people on this earth are used to being forgotten about and ignored. We are used to people not informing us of things and being left out. We are used to never getting compliments even if we are trying our hardest. We are used to kinda fading into the background and treated like we don't even exist.
People like us get used to it. Sometimes, one will try to change it. One will try to make people remember him/her and include him/her, but eventually he or she will give up. Eventually he/she will realize, nothing he/she does will change it. Eventually he/she will get tired and we just accept it.
We get used to it.
There are those who say once you get used to something, it becomes easier. Well, I don't know that it makes it any easier. On one hand, we don't really expect people to notice us or include us. We don't have that expectation, so when they ignore us, we just accept it as being normal. It hurts that it is the normal, but it doesn't hurt when each individual does it because we expect them too. On the other hand, I think we all secretly want someone to surprise us. We want someone to exceed our expectations. I think many of us, especially the stubborn ones, keep listening and waiting, hoping someone will be different. It's not that they expect it, they just have a bit of hope. Secretly, I think we want to be noticed and remembered and informed and included. We want to feel like we exist and we are important. We just stopped expecting it.
When I think about it, I realize, I'm not really sure what I would do if I was included and noticed. I think I would be shocked and maybe a bit afraid. I wouldn't know what to do. I have become so used to the norm, that if anything else happened, I would be confused and overwhelmed. In some ways, maybe it's better that it never changes. One you get used to things always being a certain way, it becomes harder to deal with the idea of those things being different.
And then, there is still often the problem of being behind. Suppose I was invited to a party in college. Suppose I decided to actually go. (Completely hypothetical and probably completely unrealistic too but just go with it). I'm a junior. The closest I've come to a college party is being in my friends apartment with 8 of her other friends and just messing around. I don't really have any experience. So if I showed up to this party I would probably be awkward and unsure. Now if I was in high school or a freshman, it wouldn't be a big deal. That's when you are supposed to be awkward. But I have passed the time for awkwardness. So now I wouldn't fit in. People would think I was strange and wouldn't want to be around me. My point is, there is a time in life where everyone does something for the first time. They are usually awkward. But it's acceptable then because it's the norm. You have your first relationship usually in middle or highschool. It's acceptable and normal for things to be awkward and rocky. You have sex for the first time in your teens or twentys for most people. If you are awkward it's normal and acceptable. But what if you never had a relationship till you were 40. What if you never had sex. You are 40 years old. Most partners will think it's creepy or weird. They aren't likely to go for you. You have passed the time where it was okay to be awkward. Sorry for going on this whole psychology development speal but I'm just trying to make the point that, while I want to be included and noticed, at the same time, if it happened now, I don't know that it would really be good. For some things especially. Like if guys suddenly started noticing me and hitting on me. I'm 20. It's never really happened...unless online counts..I probably wouldn't even know what was going on. I wouldn't know how to respond. I would be completely embarressed. I would probably want to crawl under a rock and go back to being invisible. I mean secretly, I wish someone would notice me and stuff, I want to feel important and real for once. I want it to happen even if the moment it happens doesn't go so well, at least I can say hey it actually happened. At the same time though, I don't know how I would react. It's hard to explain because it's never happened so I don't really know. I do wish someone would exceed my expectations. I wish someone would include me and notice me. I wish I was lucky for once. But I'm also slightly afraid of it too.
People like us get used to it. Sometimes, one will try to change it. One will try to make people remember him/her and include him/her, but eventually he or she will give up. Eventually he/she will realize, nothing he/she does will change it. Eventually he/she will get tired and we just accept it.
We get used to it.
There are those who say once you get used to something, it becomes easier. Well, I don't know that it makes it any easier. On one hand, we don't really expect people to notice us or include us. We don't have that expectation, so when they ignore us, we just accept it as being normal. It hurts that it is the normal, but it doesn't hurt when each individual does it because we expect them too. On the other hand, I think we all secretly want someone to surprise us. We want someone to exceed our expectations. I think many of us, especially the stubborn ones, keep listening and waiting, hoping someone will be different. It's not that they expect it, they just have a bit of hope. Secretly, I think we want to be noticed and remembered and informed and included. We want to feel like we exist and we are important. We just stopped expecting it.
When I think about it, I realize, I'm not really sure what I would do if I was included and noticed. I think I would be shocked and maybe a bit afraid. I wouldn't know what to do. I have become so used to the norm, that if anything else happened, I would be confused and overwhelmed. In some ways, maybe it's better that it never changes. One you get used to things always being a certain way, it becomes harder to deal with the idea of those things being different.
And then, there is still often the problem of being behind. Suppose I was invited to a party in college. Suppose I decided to actually go. (Completely hypothetical and probably completely unrealistic too but just go with it). I'm a junior. The closest I've come to a college party is being in my friends apartment with 8 of her other friends and just messing around. I don't really have any experience. So if I showed up to this party I would probably be awkward and unsure. Now if I was in high school or a freshman, it wouldn't be a big deal. That's when you are supposed to be awkward. But I have passed the time for awkwardness. So now I wouldn't fit in. People would think I was strange and wouldn't want to be around me. My point is, there is a time in life where everyone does something for the first time. They are usually awkward. But it's acceptable then because it's the norm. You have your first relationship usually in middle or highschool. It's acceptable and normal for things to be awkward and rocky. You have sex for the first time in your teens or twentys for most people. If you are awkward it's normal and acceptable. But what if you never had a relationship till you were 40. What if you never had sex. You are 40 years old. Most partners will think it's creepy or weird. They aren't likely to go for you. You have passed the time where it was okay to be awkward. Sorry for going on this whole psychology development speal but I'm just trying to make the point that, while I want to be included and noticed, at the same time, if it happened now, I don't know that it would really be good. For some things especially. Like if guys suddenly started noticing me and hitting on me. I'm 20. It's never really happened...unless online counts..I probably wouldn't even know what was going on. I wouldn't know how to respond. I would be completely embarressed. I would probably want to crawl under a rock and go back to being invisible. I mean secretly, I wish someone would notice me and stuff, I want to feel important and real for once. I want it to happen even if the moment it happens doesn't go so well, at least I can say hey it actually happened. At the same time though, I don't know how I would react. It's hard to explain because it's never happened so I don't really know. I do wish someone would exceed my expectations. I wish someone would include me and notice me. I wish I was lucky for once. But I'm also slightly afraid of it too.
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