We're Not Broke

The documentary "We're Not Broke" directed by Victoria Bruce and Karin Hayes shows how the united states is not broke and what a large part of the problem is. Multi-billionaire companies, in many cases, don't pay taxes. They report their profits in other countries, where they usually have no employees or profits, so that they pay less taxes. This isn't illegal unfortunately. Bank of America, Verizon, Exon, Apple, Citigroup, Google, etc don't pay taxes. They have trillions of dollars overseas that isn't in the country. It usually can't come back in either. So when the company needs money, they borrow. Pfizer got money back into the countries a few years ago and as soon as they had the money back they fired a large number of employees! Those of us who work hard and pay our taxes like good citizens, are being cheated! We pay our taxes. Shouldn't corporations pay taxes too? I strongly suggest watching this documentary. It can be found for free on Netflix and Huluplus.

There is one thing in the film that I disagree with. A woman during a protest says they are trying to give a message to Obama and complaining that Obama has not kept all of his promises he made when running for presidency. First of all, NO president keeps all the promises he makes. Partially because they are trying to get elected, and largely because there is a limit to what the president can do, and usually the promises they make aren't realistically doable by the president alone. Who should we be trying to get a message to? CONGRESS. Our problem is the government. But it's mostly congress. Obama is struggling to get new healthcare laws in place because corporations don't want to give their employees benefits. They don't want to take care of their employees because that cuts into their profits. So they say that if it goes through, they will have to fire employes or majorly cut their hours because they can't afford it. They can afford it, they just don't want too. You can't tell me that you can't afford to give your employees benefits when you can afford new top end computers and other expensive technologies that you don't really need. On top of that, people don't want to take responsibility. They don't want to pay so that everyone can have health insurance. And now congress has caused the government to shut down because the stupid tea party republicans don't want Obamacare to go through. Obama can't even get this through. How the hell do you expect him to change the law to force corporations to pay taxes? The congress (mainly the republicans) don't want to let him do anything. The president is practically powerless. Congress is the problem. And here we are supposedly broke, but we can afford to pay congress while they hold the country hostage. We have furloughed 85% of the government, so no progress is being made, there is no productivity, but those people are still going to get paid for this time. They are getting paid vacation basically. And this isn't the president. The president is trying, but congress isn't. So we need to stop blaming the president because he is black or because he more down to earth or because he is democratic or whatever. Blame congress. Because congress are really the ones in charge. The president is kinda just a face, a single person we pretend has power. A person the government hides behind. Do presidents have power sometimes, yes. When they do something without consulting congress or when congress just lets them do whatever they want or when the president manages to trick the whole country, lie to them, and well be Bush...Perfect example. Bush got us into this mess by what he did and the country blames the black democrat, typical....Don't try to give Obama a message, give congress a message. Corporations should have to pay taxes in America when their profits are being made in America. They should not be allowed to take money from the country because that hurts the overall economy. But congress is the one that can make the change. The suppreme court and the president can help, but congress has to learn to play nice first.

Pick your own words

You Can't Be Anything You Want To Be

      In elementary school, adults often say "You can be anything you want to be," and "With hard work and determination, anything is possible." By the time adolescents reach high school, most have figure out it was a lie. Not everyone who wants to become president can do so. The number of people who would like the position is large. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, would love to be president for one reason or another, but in a normal lifetime with a life expectancy of 78 (CDC 2010), the position will only be open 19 times. Since the president must be at least 35, only ten out of those 19 times would it actually be possible to run for the position. Generally, only two to three people make it to the election. You don't need to be a mathematician to realize that every child who dreams of being president one day won't be able to. No matter how determined the child is or how hard the child works, it won't matter.
      We as adults know this. I didn't write this to go on and on about how unlikely it is an individual will become president. The dream of being a president is just an easy example to understand the basic idea. What I really want to talk about is being yourself. In school and at home, one probably hears a hundred times that one can be anything they want to be. What about being oneself? A gay child in a strict traditional catholic family, may not be able to tell anyone about his sexuality. The person may end up marrying the opposite sex, having a family, and pretending to be "just like everyone else." Why? Survival. It's simple as that. That gay person will never be able to truly be his or herself. If we can supposedly "be anything we want to," then why is it that many of us can never be ourselves, at least not if we want to survive?
      I have mental disorders. I don't see mental disorders as being an "illness" or "disorder" or "disease." I see it as being a part of me. It's part of how I'm different from others. Just like hair color and height differ for everyone, I believe that sometimes, our brains are made different. The only reason some of us are considered sick in the mind is because society says we are. It's easier to label us as ill than to build a society that can accommodate everyone equally. My disorders are not my enemy, and yet, to survive and do what I want to do, I have had to make them my enemy. I have had to treat this part of me as my enemy. I have spent many long days trying to conquer the disorders. I am in a constant battle with a part of myself! Why? Because like most people, I have dreams. I have goals. And in order to survive in this society and achieve my goals, I have to. I have to walk around and try to pretend I'm just like everyone else. I have to learn to hide my problems. I have to hide a large part of myself and be someone I'm not.
        I don't want to be trapped. If I can be anything I want to be, why can't I be myself? Why can't I be the real me instead of hiding behind a mask all the time. Society doesn't expect everyone to be exactly the same. In general, society accepts that there are different hair colors, different eye colors, different personalities (to an extent). Society accepts some deviancy from the norm, but go to far, mentally or physically, and society is no longer made for you.You are wrong.
      Not everyone can be president. Not everyone can be an actor. Not everyone can be themselves, especially if they have dreams or goals. Now I can't say it's wrong or right. Maybe it's better for the grand master plan that some of us fight ourselves. Maybe it's how it has to be. There is no way for any of us to know. The only thing I am certain of, is that we can be absolutely certain of nothing. We are limited by instinct, by mental and physical barriers, by our eyes and ears, by simply being human. We see what we are able to and we build off of what existed previously. Maybe this isn't the conclusion that you expected. Perhaps you thought I would say society needs to change. Perhaps you think people should just stop telling children they can be anything. Lets face it though. Things can't be perfect. Humans will always lie one way or another. Human nature won't change. Society will take it's course and there is little anyone can do about it. I'm just giving you something to think about. Something to question. Come to your own conclusion.

The ignored ones

Some of the people on this earth are used to being forgotten about and ignored. We are used to people not informing us of things and being left out. We are used to never getting compliments even if we are trying our hardest. We are used to kinda fading into the background and treated like we don't even exist.

People like us get used to it. Sometimes, one will try to change it. One will try to make people remember him/her and include him/her, but eventually he or she will give up. Eventually he/she will realize, nothing he/she does will change it. Eventually he/she will get tired and we just accept it.
We get used to it.

There are those who say once you get used to something, it becomes easier. Well, I don't know that it makes it any easier. On one hand, we don't really expect people to notice us or include us. We don't have that expectation, so when they ignore us, we just accept it as being normal. It hurts that it is the normal, but it doesn't hurt when each individual does it because we expect them too. On the other hand, I think we all secretly want someone to surprise us. We want someone to exceed our expectations. I think many of us, especially the stubborn ones, keep listening and waiting, hoping someone will be different. It's not that they expect it, they just have a bit of hope. Secretly, I think we want to be noticed and remembered and informed and included. We want to feel like we exist and we are important. We just stopped expecting it.
When I think about it, I realize, I'm not really sure what I would do if I was included and noticed. I think I would be shocked and maybe a bit afraid. I wouldn't know what to do. I have become so used to the norm, that if anything else happened, I would be confused and overwhelmed. In some ways, maybe it's better that it never changes. One you get used to things always being a certain way, it becomes harder to deal with the idea of those things being different.
And then, there is still often the problem of being behind. Suppose I was invited to a party in college. Suppose I decided to actually go. (Completely hypothetical and probably completely unrealistic too but just go with it). I'm a junior. The closest I've come to a college party is being in my friends apartment with 8 of her other friends and just messing around. I don't really have any experience. So if I showed up to this party I would probably be awkward and unsure. Now if I was in high school or a freshman, it wouldn't be a big deal. That's when you are supposed to be awkward. But I have passed the time for awkwardness. So now I wouldn't fit in. People would think I was strange and wouldn't want to be around me. My point is, there is a time in life where everyone does something for the first time. They are usually awkward. But it's acceptable then because it's the norm. You have your first relationship usually in middle or highschool. It's acceptable and normal for things to be awkward and rocky. You have sex for the first time in your teens or twentys for most people. If you are awkward it's normal and acceptable. But what if you never had a relationship till you were 40. What if you never had sex. You are 40 years old. Most partners will think it's creepy or weird. They aren't likely to go for you. You have passed the time where it was okay to be awkward. Sorry for going on this whole psychology development speal but I'm just trying to make the point that, while I want to be included and noticed, at the same time, if it happened now, I don't know that it would really be good. For some things especially. Like if guys suddenly started noticing me and hitting on me. I'm 20. It's never really happened...unless online counts..I probably wouldn't even know what was going on. I wouldn't know how to respond. I would be completely embarressed. I would probably want to crawl under a rock and go back to being invisible. I mean secretly, I wish someone would notice me and stuff, I want to feel important and real for once. I want it to happen even if the moment it happens doesn't go so well, at least I can say hey it actually happened. At the same time though, I don't know how I would react. It's hard to explain because it's never happened so I don't really know. I do wish someone would exceed my expectations. I wish someone would include me and notice me. I wish I was lucky for once. But I'm also slightly afraid of it too.

It ruins my life

THERE IS NORMAL! Normal is not needing a bunch of accomidations just to finish high school or have exceptions made to get an associates. Normal is being able to walk into a new store alone instead of sitting in a parking lot and never walking in. Normal is being able to walk into your dance teachers party without waiting thirty minutes for a classmate to drive in and walk in first. Normal is being able to go to college and be in a dorm or an apartment with another human being. Normal is not needing a single room every time you go to sleep away camp. Normal is not getting in a fight almost every time you go to camp. Normal is not having your friends parent almost call the police on you several times when you are only six or seven years old. Normal is being able to go places and do things with out needing a bunch of accomidations or worrying about stupid little shit. Normal is not getting upset at a summer camp over something tiny and stupid and threatening to go sleep in a bathroom because of a flashlight and a bit of noise. Normal is not needing to find ways to doge a bunch of obstacles and jump through a ton of hoops to take a different math class. Normal isn't having to make sue you know the closest familiar pharmacy that carries your medicine. Normal is not having a freak out every time a schedual changes or you don't know exactly what is going to happen. Normal is not needing to double check every tiny thing before you go. Normal is not hiding your sleeping pill in a sock on a choir trip. Normal is not worrying about whether being in a room with someone else is going to cause you to explode and wind up in jail with an assult charge. Normal is not freaking out over a simple change. Normal is being able to talk to someone. Normal is not needing someone with you to keep you from panicing in unfamiliar places. Normal is being able to get your oil changed without dragging your dad because you are worried about driving up and waiting for a fucking door to open! Okay that is normal. I am not normal. And it cost money. And it complicates life...not just mine but my parents too. It hurts me because I feel like I can't do anything. My fear and anxiety keeps me from living life. It keeps me from having a normal life. It keeps me from getting involved in clubs and fun things or finding new stores or hanging with friends or anything that requires me to leave my home. Every time I turn around. It screws something up. And I hate that. I'm crying a waterfall because I hate it so damn much. For once I want to be able to do something and not worry. I want to not need to be overprepared and know every detail. I want to just go with the flow and enjoy something and I can't/ I can't truly enjoy anything..

‎

and you know what else is normal. Normal is not needing a 504 in order to do well in school. Normal is not needing medicine to somewhat function. Not even fully function in society...Just somewhat function. Normal is not having a break down because the sound that happens when your hair brush hits a door or because there is a piece of paper in the middle of the floor. Normal is being able to confront someone with out sobbing like a stupid child. Normal is being able to argue without crying or have an adult yell at them with out feeling tears. Normal is not having to face a corner and attempt to breathe through tears in the middle of a dance class. okay.

WTF!

So I was on Amazon looking at books and I clicked look inside for many of them but then I came across this one and nearly exploded.

Well since I can punch the author of the book, I'm simply going to explode in rant here. Now luckily this isn't a recent book. It was written in the 1980's when people were even more close minded than they are now (hard to imagine right?) However, recent or not, this still upset me. Before I rant though, I will say a few good things. Recently the ballet world has been changing and continues to change. In many companies, dancers are no longer weighed in front of others or penalized for being a few pounds over the weight limit. Some limits for some companies have even been risen or removed entirely. In recent years we have even seen a few larger dancers appear on stage in ballet, modern, tap, jazz, and other style companies. It's not perfect yet. Unfortunately, it took a lot of cases and deaths of dancers caused by eating disorders to bring about some of this change. Ballerinas who are over the weight limit receive nutrition help and often counseling as well to help them lose weight healthy and lower the risk of the dancer developing an eating disorder. In some companies, all the dancers receive periodic counseling and are taught nutrition to help the matter. Many companies also keep a closer eye on their dancers. If a dancer appears to be heading down an unhealthy path of an eating disorder, someone at the head of the company and a therapist will intervene and talk to the dancer. And a few dancers have even been forced to go on leave until they are able to get healthy again. Companies also recognize that muscle weighs more than fat and some have gone to measuring fat percentage instead of or along with measuring overall weight. In general, the whole idea of dancers and diets is changing.
Of course, as great as Balanchine was, he is part of the reason for all this shit happening in the first place.

So with that said, it really angered me that this book says this and is still being printed. With the deaths of dancers from "diets" and all, I would like to thing people would not print this stuff anymore. I mean this to me sounds like something the mind of a person with an eating disorder would say to themselves. And the use of the word need, um no. Please shut the fuck up. The beginning says "The number one reason have to diet is the merciless exposure of their bodies in classes and onstage." Um, no. The only way that could be a reason is people can't accept different bodies. I personally have seen some amazing dancers who weren't exactly thin. I'm not saying it's okay to be overweight but if you continue reading it says "A dancer can look pretty terrible in tights unless shes pared her weight down to the absolute minimum." While it's not healthy for anyone to be overweight and it's often not safe for overweight dancers to go on pointe, they don't have to be the absolute minimum either. That isn't exactly much better than being overweight is for ones health. As long as they are within a healthy weight range, or more importantly, have a healthy fat percentage, it shouldn't matter. The world has this idea of what dancers should look like and every time a dancer who doesn't fit the look, the critics attack mercisly. It's not because of the tights or the back row of the audience or anything like that. It's because people are close minded and expect perfection of these dancers. Except, no one can be perfect. But if the idea of a larger dancer was accepted, it wouldn't matter. It's not because the clothing is merciless, it's the critics who are merciless. And saying a dancer looks terrible if she is not the bare minimum, bullshit! Saying that certain costumes work against you, well certain costumes don't look good on overly thin girls either. Certain costumes don't look good on certain body proportions or heights. Certain costumes don't work well with certain skin tones. But as a director, you can look at the dancers you have and make sure you have a costume produced that will look good. And if you don't want a certain hair color or skin tone or weight or height, you can choose not to pick those dancers in an audition. But the only real reason certain costumes don't look good on certain weights is because society says so. The critics say so. Some damn idiot says so. Because we are programed to think that curves or a bit of thickness is bad and ugly. There was a time when being really thin was considered ugly. Then it got popular and having a bit of weight on you became ugly. Well why should it matter. All that should matter is health.
But suppose a young impressionable dancer picked up this book. Suppose they read this. How do you think they would feel. What effects might this have on that person. Maybe next time she goes to dance class she will look in the mirror and remember what the book said. Maybe she will think she looks to big. Maybe she will want to keep her warmups on all class because she is afraid the book is right and she never saw it but everyone else noticed how big she looked. Maybe she will think that must be why she didn't get that part in the nutcracker. Maybe she will start to wonder how long she has been ugly and never even noticed. Maybe she will go home and throw her dinner away. Maybe she will decide not to eat the next morning and just go for a run, because she has to diet for that recital costume. And maybe it will continue for a week or two. And maybe one day she will faint in class and end up in the hospital. Maybe she will cry when the nurse tries to give her food. Maybe her heart will give out. And maybe, just maybe, she had never been ugly or fat at all. Maybe she had been healthy. Maybe her diet took away her health. Maybe she is told she isn't allowed to dance anymore. Or maybe she dies. All because society put this fear in her. This fear that if she didn't diet, she would be ugly and never be a professional. This fear that made her question if it was the reason for every time she wasn't picked for a part, or put in the back of a dance, or yelled at, etc. Maybe lots of girls will read this book and not be bothered. But the one girl that it does bother, or many girls, they might destroy their dreams in a desperate attempt to achieve them by doing what this book said. You put these ideas into a young persons mind and they can take over. You put these ideas in a young persons mind who is starting puberty and watching their body change and it's even more dangerous. I realize this book was written long ago and I realize this country has freedom of speech, but I also realize the damage this could do to a young person. It makes me sick. Freedom of speech or not, it should be edited or removed.


And yes, I put this as a customer review on Amazon too.

People Have Power

As much as I don't want to admit it, what happens is just as much the publics fault as it is the government. The people do have power. Even in nations where they are oppressed, they can do something. The people have a lot of power. So don't blame the government for everything. Start looking at your friends, your neighbors, people at the grocery store, etc. They are just as responsible as you and every member of the government. Just saying.

Stop Hating Pit Bulls!

One study said pit bulls were the most dangerous because they have caused the most dog bite fatalites. Places ban pit bulls and are mean to them and frightened of them. Um EXCUSE ME! I'm far more afraid of humans. Humans kill more humans than any dog or animal period. Humans kill milions. And your afraid of a dog whose only killed 66 people????

Technically

cafai:

kayelljay94:

One in five.
That’s how many anorexia sufferers die.
20%.
My friend just had someone in her family diagnosed with cancer. He has an 84% survival rate.
I am more likely to survive cancer than I am to survive anorexia.
That is how deadly this disorder is.
This is not a phase. This is not a diet.
This is life or death.

Thank you for this

Technically, 5 in 5 die. Everyone dies eventually. The only difference is what kills you.
Plus, the stats aren’t equal. More people have cancer than anorexia so the group is bigger. Anorexia is such a small group because most people fall into bulimia or EDNOS. So it’s only counting the people who have been diagnosed, whos weight was low enough when they were diagnosed, who had lost their menstrual cycle, etc. There are a lot of people who never lose their period. There are a lot of people who don’t get diagnosed. It’s a lot easier to fall into the cancer diagnosis than the anorexic. You would be better off going with a stat for eating disorders. Also you have to figure in the types of cancer. It’s 84 percent chance for this one person, but what kind of cancer do they have, how far along is it, what is their health?  Same for those in the anorexic diagnosis. How long did they have it. How bad is it? How much nutrients are they getting? Did they ever recover? Did they also binge and purge or did they just starve? Some cancers have higher survival rate. Some don’t. And what about your chance of death everytime you get in a car. Figure out all the miles you travel in a car and where those miles are etc. Something is going to kill you whether it’s a disease, lifestyle, accident, phase, diet, whatever. YOU WILL DIE. Also, if you live past a certain age, you are far more likely to get cancer. If you live long enough you will get cancer. And men, if you live long enough you will get prostate cancer. If nothing else kills you, it’s a good chance cancer will. Or heart failure.

2

Please read "1" first.




I guess I will start out with where everything began, my birth. It's not technically where everything began because everything began when the universe started, which eventually led up to my parents birth, which led to mine, but I'm not going back that far, so I will start at birth. (Though throughout my writings I will probably readdress years and skip around, but birth seems to be a good start.) Mind you, I'm obviously not telling you about the first four years from my own memory, but from the memories of others who knew me.
I was born on August 14, 1993. I am the only child my mom ever had. She was 30, when after years of trying, I finally showed up. There were obvious signs that I was different from the beginning, but even more after I was born. My mom new when I was born something wasn't quite right, but the doctors wouldn't listen. They just said my mom didn't know what she was talking about because she was a first time mother. First time or not, mothers still have instincts, and hers were right. I don't entirely blame the doctors though because very little was know about the disorders I have back in 1993. I wasn't severe enough to really raise an eyebrow. Still, mothers instincts didn't need a psychologist to tell her is some fancy wording that something wasn't quite right.
I didn't really cry. My mothers parents, I call them nana and papa, went to see me in the nursery. I was the only newborn baby that was not sound asleep. Yep, even then I didn't care for sleep. Now, babies are not supposed to be able to see or move their heads much, but apparently I didn't get the memo. My nana recalls that I moved around looking at things as though I could see. Maybe I could see. I don't remember. But I had my head lifted and was turning this way and that as if trying to look around and take in my surroundings. Meanwhile, all the other newborns were sleeping, which is what I was supposed to be doing..
I wasn't slow to learn. I ran before I walked and walked before I crawled. Apparently I wasn't thrilled with doing things in the right order either. I also didn't sleep. Newborns generally sleep three hours and are awake for one. At best, I was asleep for one hour and awake for three. I never really grew out of that....
The weirdest thing to me was that no one really knows what my first word was or when I began to talk. I wasn't interested in advertising it. I didn't start late, in fact I still started early, but how I started is what's strange. See, my mom didn't think I could talk. When other people were around, I didn't. My mom found out I could talk on accident. One day she was walking by my room and I had one of those toys that speaks. (Now days, what baby toy doesn't speak!?). I was repeating what the toy was saying. So apparently I knew how to talk. I didn't actually start talking in the presence of others until I was able to say several words and even some short sentences. I didn't want anyone to know I could do it until I felt I was good at it. I guess that much never really changed.
I also hated baby stuff. I did not want that stupid sippy cup or those silly baby utensils or anything like that. Nope, I wanted the stuff the adults had. At first I used a bottle of course. I didn't drink milk though because I was allergic, even though at first the doctors didn't think I was. I got sick every time I drank milk. My mom took me to the doctor but the first time, they basically implied she didn't know anything about babies because she was a first time mom. Again with the first time mom thing!!! It's not like doctors were around throughout all of history. At one point a mother relied on her instincts  A mother just knows, first time or not. And how hard is it to figure out a child shouldn't be drinking milk!? It certainly does not take a medical degree. Anyway she stopped giving me regular milk and started with soy. I didn't get sick anymore. Wow thank you doctors you could have killed me. Once I was about 2 though the bottle/sipy cup idea was not acceptable in my mind. I guess I didn't want to be different. After all, I was the only one not drinking from a grown up peoples glass. I wasn't even big enough or strong enough for a grown up glass but I didn't really care. I was stubborn. My way or the high way. My mom couldn't even force me to eat things I didn't want to with out physical force. Some parents give their kids what they want because the parent doesn't want the kid to fight or cry. With me though, you could send me to my room without dinner, but it wasn't going to work. I liked to play who gives in first, and I was usually determined it wouldn't be me (yeah really not much has changed). I would go to my room without dinner. Fine by me. Eventually my mother would give in and give me whatever I would eat because she can't exactly let me starve. That's child neglect. And I was too stubborn to fight with. I wasn't THAT bad though. I liked some veggies and fruits and various things that were healthy. I was picky but not too bad. I know it sounds like I was terrible, but I really wasn't. Yes, a few times I played the game who gives in first at the dinner table but not often. My mom didn't really try to get me to eat weird stuff because I was getting fruits and veggies, so it wasn't necessary  I loved sweet potatoes and broccoli and corn and berries and tomatoes and apples and peaches and cantelope etc.
There were a few other major signs that I wasn't quite right though. One time when I was really young (not sure the exact age, but probably three or four), I was at a family picnic at my dads parents house. I call them grandma and grandpop/pa/dad. We were outside and my grandpa was grilling. I walked right into the side of the grill and burned a large portion of my arm. My mom was panicking and freaking out. I on the other hand was completely calm. I wasn't crying or anything. I didn't even seem to realize my arm was burned!
Another thing was my behavior in preschool. I went to a private baptist school from 3k through kindergarten  In 3k I was quiet. I didn't talk to anyone. I kept to myself in the corner. I was really shy. I wasn't very responsive. I didn't really smile. I was a good student, but I was odd. In 4k, I was completely different. I wasn't always responsive, but I was hyper and I talked. I occasionally played with other kids. I moved around a lot. I was the complete opposite. It is kinda strange. I tended to go back and forth like that sometimes throughout, though never quite that extreme again.
In Kindergarten,  I had this mean teacher. She hated children. The only time she was actually nice was kindergarten graduation when she wrote things in these mini pink bibles that were given to us. I think she was just glad to get rid of us.
After that teacher, my parents switched me to public school. And that is when all hell broke loose. 

1

I have some stuff I really want to get off my chest. I'm really trying to face my past and work on understanding it and understanding me. Though it's a long process that I have been working on for several years and it's hard and scary, I need to do it. I'm always telling others they need to face their pasts to be free. I need to listen to my own words. I know everything I say might not always make sense, and of course, you don't have to read it, but if you do read it you might understand me a bit better. And maybe you won't. Some of the things I have been through that really hurt me are looked at by society as not being that bad which makes it's even harder for me to do this. I know because most people think some of the things I've been through that really tore me apart aren't seen as being that bad that some people will read this and not understand. Some may read the things I am going to write and think I have no reason to be the way I am or have the problems I have. I urge you to keep in mind a few things. For one thing, everyone is given their own unique set of battles. No one else will ever face all the battles you do. Battles are sometimes physical and sometimes mental and often both. Sometimes our battles are different simply because we percieve an event or situation differently. Like a rainbow, we don't all see the exact same one. The battles we are given are meant for us. Given to anyone else, they would not be won. Only you are capable of fighting the battles you are given and only you are able to win them. Saying someones life hasn't been bad enough for them to hurt as much as they do is like saying someone else's life hasn't been good enough to be as happy or positive as they are. It goes both ways though people tend to forget. Saying someone has no reason to be depressed is like saying someone else has no reason to be happy. Sure some people have had it "worse" than you, but some people have had it "better" than you too. My point is, everyone has a right and a reason to feel the way they do and it is no one else's right to judge the validity of their emotions or thoughts. So if you decide to read what I write, then try to keep these things in mind.
I'm writing these things for me. But I am also writing these things for others so that they may be encouraged to face their past and their problems and so that they may see they are not alone.